Tossers
by SilverBlood666
Summary: Obi-wan crash lands on a strange planet. It‘s mostly jungle, with something other than the usual vines and trees… Set before Clone Wars. Pairings: Obi-wan/tentacles. Read on!


_Untitled as of Now -- Star Wars_

_**Author's Notes:**_ Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be done with this one. Constant editing and all… Not to mention the ending is about as satisfying as a single Reese's Cup… Anyway. Read on, reader. Read on.

_**Disclaimer:**_ George Lucas can keep Obi-wan, as long as I get Ewan McGregor, a Jedi costume, and my tentacle monster. (I feel bad for calling it a monster though. It's not _really_ a monster. It just…misunderstood… Yeah… o.O) 

_**Summary:**_ Obi-wan crash lands on a strange planet. It's mostly jungle, with something other than the usual vines and trees… ((Set before Clone Wars.)) Pairings: Obi-wan/tentacles. Read on!

_**WARNING:**_ This contains tentacles. If you don't like the idea of tentacle rape/sex/whatever, please turn back now for both our sakes. You don't want to be offended, and I don't want to be reported. I worked long and hard on this, and don't want to be crushed because some homophobic didn't read the warning. So, uh, bugger off. Go on. Shoo. Now. Before the story starts. Last chance.

* * *

A red light was blinking on the control panel. It was something that Obi-wan knew wasn't supposed to be blinking. In fact, it shouldn't have even been on. This worried Obi-wan for a great many reasons; the main one being that they were in deep trouble without it. His fingers flew over the controls, punching in a sequence of code. The cockpit shook violently and something behind Obi-Wan started beeping. 

Once again, Obi-wan cursed the enemy droids. He wasn't even in a fighting class ship, for that case. He was in a Class 2 Silverpod. Not that it mattered though. The droids had come on him on his way back to Coruscant, knew who was flying it, and hadn't let up until Obi-wan managed to maneuver himself behind them. He'd fired them out of space with the weak, defensive lasers his ship was equipped with.

"R4, see if you can do something about that blasted habitatical system failure. I'm going to scan for a live planet within our landing reach," he said into his comm. 

The astromech whirred and beeped back an affirmative. Obi-wan pressed a few buttons near the navigation computer and waited for it to respond. It took a few moments, but the 5"x6" screen showed a small, green planet named Sorbic. Vitals showed that it teemed with life. Even through the Force, he could already tell that much.

"Ever heard of it?" he asked the droid, knowing it was tracking the movements he made on the computer.

This time, R4 beeped a no and went back to trying to fix the small, one-person ship. It shuddered and Obi-wan had to grab at the bottom of his seat to keep himself secure.

"I guess it doesn't matter. We'll have to land there, otherwise we won't be able to land at all," Obi-wan set a new course towards Sorbic. 

As he finished setting the new course, static began to take over the edges of the computer screen. A jolt of panic made Obi-wan's stomach drop a little. He took a calming breath, nearly slipping into meditation mode.

"R4, is there anything you can do about the computer?" he asked, all business.

Sparks came from the wing that R4 was riding. On the outside of the 'Pod, the astromech droid whirred again. 

_Working on defensive system. What are you doing to help?_

Obi-wan rolled his eyes, wishing, not for the first time, that R2-D2 was with him. At least he was a little friendlier. Too bad he was with Anakin back on Coruscant. Very far from… wherever Obi-wan was. 

"Fine, _fine_. Forget the defensive system. We don't need it right now. What we need is the computer," he said, fighting an insane urge to just let go of the controls and drift.

Obi-wan reached into the Force and let himself become the ship. He could _feel_ what the problem was. What was frustrating him was that he couldn't _do_ anything about it. He let go and turned his attention back on the little computer. The static had taken over about a sixth of the screen. 

"Shouldn't these things have back-ups?" he wondered to himself.

_Back-up generator destroyed. Human._

"Of course it was…" sighed Obi-wan. He ran a hand through his short, auburn hair. "Do we at least have enough power left to make one, _little_ jump into hyperspace?"

_A short one. Power allowances say there won't be enough able to make a return trip._

"Good enough. The emergency beacon survived. We can activate it when we land." Obi-wan punched in the code and prayed that the computer would cooperate. 

It took a moment, but it finally read, "Destination accepted. Waiting for affirmation."

Slowly, Obi-wan pulled back on the hyperspace lever. Gravity pushed him into the cushioning of his seat as the stars elongated into rays of white. It didn't seem like a long trip. Almost as soon as it began, the Silverpod slowed back to normal speed. The only difference in Obi-wan's surroundings was that now there was a small, greenish planet to the left of him.

He angled the ship towards it, wincing when something other than R4 started whirring.

"Secure the cable! We can't land without it!" 

The outside of the ship began to heat up as they began to enter the atmosphere. Everything began to shake and it was all Obi-wan could do to just hold the controls and keep them on course.

"Magnetize, R4. We don't want you falling out, do we?" he said, trying and failing to keep his voice light.

To ignore his fear, Obi-Wan concentrated harder on landing his ship in one piece. Sweat made his traditional Jedi robes damp and uncomfortable. He wiped his face on his shoulder and then tugged the neck of his robes away to allow some equally warm air to touch his chest.

In what felt like forever, but was only a few seconds, they made it through the atmosphere. The ship's shuddering stilled somewhat. Enough so that the Jedi Master could breathe again.

The endless green of the planet had morphed into trees and various foliage as they were coming down. 

Still coming down. 

Obi-wan wrenched his attention from the plants, to looking for a suitable place to land. He could feel the life of the planet and it was refreshing after feeling nothing nearby in space for so long.

_System failing. Communication system, failed. Defensive systems, failed. Offensive systems, failed. _

"I _know_, R4. I'm trying to get this thing on the ground," Obi-wan snapped as the droid continued to rattle off what was failing, nerves making his voice tight. 

There. A decent sized clearing. It even had a small pond. He didn't see anything else, but then… he didn't have a whole lot of time to look.

"That'll do," Obi-wan murmured and angled his ship towards it. "Engage landing procedure."

'_If they work,'_ he added silently.

Surprisingly, durasteel legs ejected from the bottom of the ship as the ground neared. The Silverpod landed with a solid bump that would have had Obi-wan bouncing into the cockpit glass, had it not been for the safety netting that strapped him to his seat. The engines let out a great 'hoooom' that made Obi-Wan's very heart vibrate. They coughed and then everything became still.

For a moment. Then R4 beeped pathetically.

_Complete system failure. Standby to shut all remaining systems down. _

"At least we landed," Obi-wan returned evenly, flipping a few switches to release the coolants throughout the ship. He was completely unsurprised when nothing happened. He sighed and activated the homing beacon. Fortunately, it was completely separate from the rest of the ship's systems, so it wasn't damaged. Even without the ship's comm, he'd be rescued. 

He pushed the emergency release catch on a panel by his left thigh and the cockpit popped open a few inches. Obi-wan unsnapped his safety netting and leaned back to kick the cockpit the rest of the way open. Fresh, clean, warm air hit his face. The scoured polyglass window bounced hard on it's hinges as he climbed out. He hit the ground with unsteady legs and had to hang on to the side of the side of the ship. 

He hissed when his hand hit the hot hull and snatched it away. He wobbled over to a tree near the grey-green water and sat down to get his bearings. 

Obi-wan's eyes devoured everything. From the tree trunks with swirly, green bark and whitish leaves, to the odd, purplish vines hanging from them. Odd noises came from deeper in the jungle. Throaty growls, high-pitched screeches, even a few squeaking whines. They were what he could only assume were animals calling back and forth to each other. What kind of animals, Obi-wan could merely guess. 

He took an analyzer out of his belt and dipped the end into the water. It took a few seconds for the results. The grayish-green water was safe to drink. 

Obi-wan plunged his burned hand into it with no further thought. It was cool, but not too cold. Enough to soothe his burn, anyway. He reached into the Force so he could tell if something was coming. There was nothing too near, but one had to be sure in a situation like this…

The climate was warmer here than that of Coruscant, he noted, shoving the sleeves of his robe up his arms. The baggy material didn't stay there and fell back down almost immediately. He scowled at them for a moment, wishing he had a change of clothes. 

Sighing, he undid the sash and yanked off the billowing tan fabric, leaving him slightly more comfortable in his soft (but long-sleeved), white tunic and brown traveling pants. His boots, of course, made his feet uncomfortably hot, but one didn't just walk around barefoot in unfamiliar grass. 

Trying the same tactic, but a different approach, he rolled his sleeves up to his elbows.

"Is there anything we can do about the ship, R4?" he called back to the droid.

R4 paused in his welding to aim his optics at the Jedi Master, giving him an almost a glare. As if to say, "What do you think I'm doing over here?"

"All right, all right. I was only asking. No need to get technical," Obi-wan muttered to himself, then he smiled faintly at his little joke. Maybe he'd use that later.

The droid whirred impatiently, standing on two of it's three legs and stomping angrily.

"Okay, keep your dome on! I'm coming."

R4 produced a squealing sound that probably would be the equivalent of human curses. Obi-wan winced. Droids were so temperamental…

He got up and walked back to the space craft, popping open a compartment underneath the left wing as quick as he could. Obi-wan dragged out a bulky, durasteel box, in which the tools inside clanked against each other loudly. He set it down on top of the wing and opened it. 

Obi-wan got out a torch of his own and switched it on. The hiss of gas that escaped the nozzle told him that it worked. He held it away from him and R4 and sparked it. A white needle of fire about four inches long shot out and Obi-wan quickly got to work on a mangled back of his ship.

* * *

Sweat trailed down the Jedi's chest and followed the creases formed by his perfect abs. Perfected, obviously, by years and years of training hard in the lightsaber fighting arts. He wiped away a line of sweat from his temple on his shoulder as he kept welding. 

It'd been almost two hours now, and Oni-wan had given up on his modesty. He'd loosed his belt and tossed it over a wing, and whipped the white fabric quickly off when he was near stifling. The brown undershirt followed quickly, leaving him bare from the waist up. It was currently hanging off a low branch of a tree close by to the ship.

Those godforsaken droids were going to hear it from him the next time they went up against each other… He fumed for a moment, then calmed himself. It would do no good to get worked up here, in the middle of nowhere. And it wasn't like telling off a 'droid would actually get him somewhere, anyway. 

After all, there's only one way to deal with the Separatists' 'droids. 

He stood up, wiping away more sweat from his face. Without a word, Obi-wan went to the pond and knelt down for a drink. He cupped his hands and let the cool, clean water slide down his parched throat. He sat back on his heels, hands folded neatly, automatically, in his lap, staring out over the calm water.

Something warm and slimy molded itself perfectly to Obi-wan's bare back, filling in every ridge made by his muscles. He was ashamed of the yelp of surprise that escaped him, but he'd had _no warning_ at all. There was no tremble in the Force, no vibrations of life that even made him aware of it. He reached a hand back quickly to try to claw at it. His short nails found no purchase and slid right off whatever it was.

Obi-Wan remembered himself and calmed down. He _reached_ to try to pry the creature off, but he couldn't. 

Wait, 'couldn't'? _Couldn't?_ The Force wasn't working on this… creature? Something thick and long slithered down his side and Obi-wan's hand seized it before it could go too far. He looked at it for a moment and had a flash of his old mentor's face. Qui-Gon's voice echoed in his mind, reminding him of a certain, blue Toydarian and how he was resistant to the Force.

It was a thick, vine-like thing, purplish in color, and covered lightly with what Obi-wan guessed was sap. He remembered looking at them and dismissing them without a thought. Obi-wan realized, embarrassed, that he'd underestimated something he hadn't thought twice about. The tentacle writhed against Obi-wan's strong grip and the sap very nearly allowed it to get free.

Another wound around his left leg while he was examining the tentacle in his hand. It yanked his ankle out from under him and left Obi-wan hopping about, feeling ratherflustered now that he knew he couldn't use the Force on it.

"R4, a little help here would be nice!" he yelled, wondering what kind of help the droid would be. Maybe he could taser it or something. Then he wondered if astromechs were usually equipped with tasers, or if it was just a 'special modification' to R2-D2 courtesy of one Anakin Skywalker.

Then he was up in the air, upside down before he even realized it. Auburn hair fell into confused eyes as he twisted at an impossible angle to see what had him. His grip involuntarily tightened on the one in his hand. 

The only thing he could see were two tentacles, longer and thicker than the ones holding his arms and legs, were clinging tightly to the tree branches above and was lifting him higher from the ground. Strange shaped leaves brushed at his skin and hair. The thing on his back pulsed and grew warmer. His breath hitched in his throat. While he was distracted, yet another vine-like appendage captured his other leg. He drew a breath for another yell.

A tentacle thrust itself into his gaping mouth, effectively stopping whatever he'd been about to yell to R4. With his free hand, he jerked it out, the slight taste of something Obi-Wan could only describe as 'pepperminty' on his tongue. The tentacle slid easily out of his grasp and wrapped itself around his wrist. It had effectively trapped him. 

'_Are you __kidding__ me?'_ wondered Obi-wan, bucking hard at the un-budging things. 

The tentacles suddenly yanked him into a spread-eagle position and leveled him out, so that Obi-wan would be on his back, had he been laying on the ground. It was like it had experienced enough of the Jedi's attempts. The pair around his legs were joined by a few more and they slithered up the Jedi's legs, entwining. 

As they made their way up, Obi-wan felt his boots slowly being pulled off, followed by his stockings. Two soft thumps below him confirmed it. The vines wrapped around his feet and slithered between his toes. They squeezed his calves gently, like they were assuring him everything would be all right. One slid loosely around his neck, resting patiently on his cheek, while another traced the outlines of the muscles in his abdomen. 

Obi-wan's face flushed when it traced lower, and tried again to pull his hands down to stop it. The tentacles tightened, seeming irritated. Another pair joined them and wriggled their way down to his shoulders, effectively rendering his limbs motionless. The one on his stomach didn't stop until it reached his belly button. It paused for a moment, as if to examine it. The tip of the tentacle nudged it experimentally. 

"Oh, my…" his voice was little more than a breathy whisper. Obi-wan let out soft gasp when heat began to grow in him. It poked it again, a little harder. "Stop that!"

The tentacle seemed to grow bored with the belly button, and picked up it's trail. It paused again at the top of Obi-wan's trousers. It looked like it was studying that, too; as if realizing that the surface was different than the one it had just been playing on.

It made up it's mind and slid over the fabric, creating the lightest friction between it and Obi-wan's crotch. He bit his lower lip and remained perfectly still. For whatever reason, the tentacle seemed genuinely interested in the material.

Before it grew bored again. And it seemed to prefer skin to cloth. Obi-wan's heart began to pound as the tentacle began to explore again. Once again it came to the waistband, like it was puzzled as to just _why_ the two things were so different. Finally, slowly, the tentacle slipped beneath the fabric. Obi-wan bucked again, and the purple appendage tightened it's hold with even less patience than before. 

When Obi-wan stopped his movements, the thing loosened and slid between his legs. He bit back a surprised groan at the new sensation and tried to keep himself from thrusting up into it to anger the creature further. 

On the contrary, that was the noise that tentacle seemed to be waiting for. It wrapped around him and began stroking him gently, gauging his reactions. Obi-wan gritted his teeth and tried vainly to resist. Dimly, Obi-wan was aware of his pants suddenly being around his knees. A moment later, he saw them fluttering gently to the ground below. 

A thick, firmer vine wrapped itself securely several times around Obi-wan's hips. It slid wetly between his cheeks and continued it's trek towards his opening. And the Jedi Master couldn't do a thing to stop it. 

It pressed into him slowly, firmly. Obi-wan groaned at the feeling and pushed vainly at it.

The tentacle began a gentle thrusting motion that managed to make Obi-wan outright moan. He fought to retain his senses, as the thrusts got a little less gentle.

The vine holding him tightened and he gasped, only inches away. It froze around him, and no matter what Obi-wan tried, it wouldn't move.

The vine in back moved in a way that had Obi-wan arching his back, fighting off a moan as it continued to violate him. 

Obi-wan bucked his hips spasmodically, altering the angle the tentacle that was thrusting into him. His vision went brilliantly white and he couldn't stop a hoarse "Uhh!" as release began to take hold of him again its grip.

Sensing this, the tentacle paused, and Obi-wan knew what would happen, even as he tried to rock his hips against the vine. It moved with him and he could do nothing about it. 

But he'd second guessed it's actions wrong. Soon, both front and back tentacles began moving at the same time. Obi-wan didn't know what to respond to. The tentacle around his neck suddenly tightened, pressing against his windpipe. He opened his mouth to draw breath and the tentacle slid in. Once again, Obi-wan tasted the odd, peppermint-like flavor at the back of his throat.

The vine thrusting into him took aim without Obi-wan knowing and his vision went white again. He moaned around the vine. He was suddenly _everything alive_ while still in his own body. His senses spread wide over the jungle. He was the wind as he blew through the leaves. In fact, Obi-Wan was part of the leaves, as well. His throat ached as something in the wild forest howled. 

He let out a hoarse groan around his mouthful when it struck him again and again. His hands clutched at the vines around his wrists and his bare toes curled. Unknown to him, small rocks and leaves were hovering in midair, suspended by small bursts of the Force. He struggled to pull air into his lungs. The lack of it seemed to make the feeling intensify and Obi-Wan feared, for a moment, that he might die. 

A few moments passed of this, and soon Obi-Wan's movements became sluggish. The tentacle loosened slowly, and Obi-Wan hung limp in its grasp, breathing heavily. In one movement, it withdrew all its appendages. Obi-wan grunted softly.

Though his eyes weren't open, he could sense the ground slowly coming up to meet him. It rolled him slowly, face-first into the grass. Obi-Wan's left hand landed on something soft and familiar. He closed a portion of the cloth in his fist and, with great effort, forced his eyes open. Indeed, they were his pants. 

He was dragging himself to his hands and knees when something familiar seized around his wrists and ankles. It laid him out flat and pinned him down. Obi-Wan gasped when a tentacle entered him roughly.

He fought as hard as he physically could and called desperately on the Force again, but couldn't dislodge the vine as it attacked him again. Soon, it had him panting on the ground, breathing in the scent of the grass.

"Nng, no more," he said. His hands gripped weakly at the vines around his wrists. He shivered as the tentacle touched him again. 

Behind the ship, R4 emitted a soft whir. The vines tightened for a fraction of a second, then left Obi-Wan's taut body once and for all.

He sat up, taking his sweet time as he tried to control his shaky breathing. Without getting up, Obi-Wan dragged his pants up to his knees. When he got them completely on, his hands were still trembling so hard, it was almost impossible to do up the drawstring at the waist. 

R4 let out a string of beeps and whistles. Obi-Wan could only guess what they could mean. He dragged himself sluggishly to his feet, wincing at how sore he was. He threw a look over his shoulder to check just where the vines were, but saw them dangling from the tree as innocently as they had been when he'd first laid eyes on them. 

He turned back to R4, but wasn't really seeing the astromech 'droid when he whirred again. Out of the corner of his eye, Obi-Wan saw his tunic hanging from the tree and called it to him. 

Tugging it over his head, the Jedi Master glanced around again for something he wouldn't know if he saw. His head was in a daze, and he had a far off, glazed look on his face. The SilverPod and R4 appeared in front of him. Obi-Wan mumbled something about the ship. 

There was a survival kit on the other side of the 'Pod's wing. It contained a sleeping pad and a few thermawraps, though Obi-Wan didn't think he'd be sleeping much tonight. He went around and grabbed the kit anyway. He shot a glare at his companion while he pulled on his undershirt.

"You know, a little help would have been much appreciated," Obi-Wan snapped at the astromech. Even to his own ears, his voice sounded far away.

He got everything situated and settled down for a moment. Without even realizing it, he was asleep.

* * *

Obi-Wan slept through the rest of the day, and then through most of the night. At around 6 standard hours on Sorbic's morning, a noise woke him up.

Crunch. 

Obi-Wan was immediately awake. Not necessarily alert as he should have been, but awake, nonetheless. The Jedi Master struggled with his blankets as white lights began to flash on him. Silhouettes, human and alien alike, began to make their way through the tightly woven jungle trees. One stood out among them all. 

One of the lights flashed into his eyes. Obi-Wan ripped away the thermawraps and managed to stand stiffly. He snatched his light saber from his belt and activated it. 

"He's over here!" came a familiar voice. "Obi-Wan!"

"Anakin?" he called back, knowing.

"It's me, Master!" 

Obi-Wan deactivated his blade and put it away. It _was_ Anakin. That much he could tell from the presence in the Force. It was powerful aura around him, along with a dangerous edge to it. Obi-Wan allowed himself to bask in the aura for a moment.

Anakin's flashtorch was now pointed at the ground to allow Obi-Wan to see for himself. The older Jedi grabbed his Padawon in a hug that was returned. 

"That was fast!" Obi-Wan exclaimed, as everyone was gathered around. Technicians and mechanics immediately set to work on the savaged SilverPod under the light of portable artificial lamps.

"That's, what, eight times now?"

Obi-Wan smiled weakly. "Seven, if you please. That whole bit during the Benzoate situation doesn't count."

"If you say so," Anakin grinned, then sobered. There was an odd tremor in the Force coming from his Master. Something was off. He seemed…distracted.

"Are you all right, Obi-Wan?" asked Anakin, raising his eyebrows.

Obi-Wan looked away for a moment, over the still, glittering surface of the pond. He shook himself out of it and gave Anakin a soft smile.

"Yes, yes. I'm fine now."

The tremor didn't stop, nor did it even decrease in the slightest, but the happy look on Obi-Wan's face was enough to make the Padawaon believe his friend. One of the mechanics interrupted anyway.

"That musta been one hell of a landing. The whole thing is shot, Master," he said, sticking an odd-looking tool into a back pocket of his orange jumpsuit. "You cleaned it up good though."

"Everything except the bloody landing gears failed on the blasted thing," Obi-Wan replied. He scoffed, "Flying's for droids."

Over the campsite, R4 whistled at Obi-Wan and trotted about on two legs. He gave him a glare, an angry whistle and a series of shrill squeals that might have said, "It might _not _have if _you'd_ have dodged that last _missile!_ Jedi reflexes, hah!"

"What'd you do to get to him?" asked Anakin, clearly impressed.

Obi-Wan motioned vaguely to the back of the ship. "Caught a missile on the stern and it blew out everything. He hasn't forgiven me."

Anakin glanced at the blackened, twisted metal for the first time. That ruined panel still gaped open, but there were no more sparks. He whistled low.

"He did get you good," he observed.

"Yes he did. I didn't think I was going to make it for a while there. Luckily this little planet came along. Sorbic, I believe it's called."

"Yes, it showed up on our sensors," Anakin said. 

In the artificial light, Anakin saw something on Obi-Wan's neck, like he was wearing a choker or something. He stared hard at it until the other Jedi became aware of it. 

"What?"

Without a word, Anakin took hold of his former mentor's shoulder and turned him towards the light. A red, angry-looking welt ran under Obi-Wan's jaw. The Master didn't trace his fingers along it like he desperately wanted to.

"What's this?" asked Anakin, lifting Obi-Wan's chin to get a better look.

Obi-Wan's stomach tightened slightly and he pulled away gently. He scratched the back of his head, trying to think of what to say and Anakin saw another welt. 

"Master!"

Now Obi-wan looked at his hands and arms. Thick marks left by the vines. They hadn't been there before. There was probably bruising on his legs too, with the way they felt.

"I'll tell you in private. Come on."

Obi-Wan led the Jedi to the edge of the pond and away from the hustle and bustle of engineers and droids. He kept away from the trees, Anakin noticed. He also noticed the Master glancing up at the vines every few seconds.

All right. _What?"_ Anakin finally asked. He couldn't feel just how very alive they were in the Force either, apparently. 

"Hm. So you can't feel them either. I wondered."

"Feel _what?"_ demanded Anakin. Agitation spiked out of the Force. At the same time, Anakin felt a feeling of desperation coming off Obi-Wan. "What's wrong?"

He nodded up at them, indicating to Anakin that he look too.

"Them. Those vines. They're alive," Obi-Wan said shortly. 

"I'm not a Master, but I'm ordering you to start making sense. They're plants. Of course they're alive."

"No, I mean, _alive_ alive, Anakin. They're a… creature of some sort. They just _look_ like vines. They attacked me."

He eyed the closest clump of the purple things and edged a little closer. He was just reaching a gloved, leather-bound hand out when Obi-Wan stopped him.

"I wouldn't."

Anakin turned back to his former mentor with a curious glance that Obi-Wan didn't meet. He was watching the vines warily as they swayed innocently in the light breeze. There was still a twinge in the Force from him.

"Ma-"

"Sneaky little tossers, they are," Obi-Wan cut across him, giving them a final glare. He turned on his heel, leaving Anakin gaping at his unusual use of slang, and walked back to his ship to offer whatever help he could to the rest of the mechanical team.

* * *

The night wore on. A pale, green light began to grow brighter in the distance as morning drew near. Obi-Wan slipped into a trance-like state as he helped work on his ship. The steady, beat-by-beat rhythm kept his mind from wandering too much.

"Master?" Anakin's voice gently lured him out of his head. Obi-Wan turned to face him, wiping a thin layer of sweat from his brow. 

"Yes, Anakin?" 

"Can I speak with you? In private?"

"Of course," Obi-Wan nodded and stood up. He stretched out the kinks in his back from working. He took his time. The Jedi Master knew what was coming.

The pair of them made their way towards the bank of the pond. Obi-Wan knew what was coming. They stopped and the Jedi Master said nothing. Anakin cleared his throat.

"_Are_ you all right, Master?" he repeated, looking at Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan scratched the back of his head, gazing out over the illuminated water. The game was almost up, but he wasn't ready to admit it.

"Yes," he said firmly.

The younger Jedi's shoulders slumped, but his momentary defeat didn't bother him too long. 

"I sense a change in you," Anakin pushed. "I know something happened."

Obi-Wan's gaze wandered over to the nearest clump of vines. They quivered in the breeze, and the Jedi Master refused to recoil. He wasn't sure if he should feel grateful to them or disgusted. They made no move towards them. No doubt because there was power in numbers. Of course, that was it.

"Obi-Wan."

The red-haired man looked at his companion for the first time since they came over here. There was something in his eyes, veiled, of course, but Anakin could _feel_ it. 

Obi-Wan was defiantly silent. For a moment. Then he said:

"If it would have been a straight out attack, I could have taken them," he said, mostly to himself. "Honestly, it was more like," he paused for a fraction of a second, eyes glassed. "Rape."

Anakin closed his eyes for the briefest second. When he opened them, Obi-Wan was still looking defiant, but not at the younger Jedi. Instead his gaze rested again on the purple clumps hanging from the trees.

"Are you all right?" Anakin asked quietly. "Are you injured?"

At this, Obi-Wan let out a laugh that had no humor in it. He sobered quickly and took a breath. 

"No, I'm all right. I'm not injured. Barely scarred, even. They got me good." 

"What happened?"

The Master automatically clasped his hands behind his back in a relaxed stance. His mind was anything but.

_Sod it all…Having to go through it detail-by-detail._

"They just… got me. It was so quick. One minute I'm staring out at that pond, the next second, I'm up in the air being violated by the foliage. To call it strange would be an understatement," Obi-Wan explained briefly, trying and failing to look totally blank. "The Force wouldn't work on it, either. It was like it was immune. What I am most disturbed by was that I couldn't get it off. I used the Force and couldn't even pry it off." 

"Are you sure you _really_ all right, Master?" Anakin couldn't help but ask again. He brushed hair out of his face to really look at him. 

"Yes, Anakin, I'm fine." Impatience now, but with truth and a hint of a smile. 

Anakin sensed this, was waiting for this, and held up his hands in a surrendering gesture, "Just making sure."

There was a high-pitched whine of a jet engine behind them, followed by a loud, "Poppoppop!" of sonic booms. Then "Whiiiiiine!" stronger and healthier than it'd been all night.

"Sounds like your ship is finally back online," Anakin said with a grin.

"Thank goodness, I'd love a jawa juice," sighed Obi-Wan. 

Still keeping an eye on his Master, the pair made their way back to the ships and engineers.

* * *

Within the hour, the miniature fleet was back up in space. Obi-Wan fingered his controls nervously. Not that he doubted the skills of the highly talented engineers Anakin had brought with him, but because, damn it, he just _hated_ flying. His eyes darted around, peering into the space for any unknown enemies. 

"_Master, the coordinates are set. Are you ready?" _Anakin's voice came through the commlink headset. 

"Yes, Anakin, proceed when ready," Obi-Wan replied, more than happy to let his Padawon take control of this circus. All he wanted was to get home to Coruscant, have a shower and sleep for about three days. Not that he'd get _that_ much down time right now, but it was nice to dream about it. 

R4 beeped out a question and the computer read out: 

"_Ready, human? Try not to get us shot up this time."_

"I'm still not speaking to you," Obi-Wan said, taking a breath to calm himself and avoid shutting the droid down.

He bipped out another response. This time, it read:

"_Oh, lighten up. You liked it."_

"You--!"

Anakin beamed the set of coordinates to his Master's ship. The computer logged them in automatically and waited for confirmation. 

"_All right, Blue Squad, on my signal. Three, two, one, and go."_

"_Copy that, Blue Leader."_

One by one, the other ships shot off into space, vanishing from view in a long stream of color among the stars.

"_After you, Master,"_ said Anakin. 

Obi-Wan shrugged and pushed the hyperspace drive forward. Once again, the stars turned from points of light, to long, white spears that contrasted sharply to the blackness of space. His body was pushed gently back into the padding of his seat and he gripped his controls until his knuckles were white. 

After an impossibly long time, the stars shrank back to normal. A large, silverish-blue planet loomed in front of them. Obi-Wan came out right behind the fleet and flashed his 'all clear' signal. Seconds later, Anakin's ship slowed next to the Master's. 

They nodded at each other through their cockpit windows before Anakin came on the comm again. 

"_All units, set coordinates for Coruscant. Estimated TOA: 0500."_

"_Roger, Blue Leader,"_ came various confirmations. There was silence on the channel as everyone programmed in the destination.

Almost as one, the group angled towards the planet. One by one, they shot off in that direction.

* * *

They docked shortly and their equipment was relieved from them. Obi-Wan even managed to find a spare jumpsuit He was desperate to get out of his sweat-stained robes, even if it meant wearing the garish orange. Anakin watched in amusement as he emerged from the changing station holding the stinking pile of clothing as if they were diseased.

"You didn't smell _that_ bad," he told his Master, grinning.

Obi-Wan didn't dignify that with a response as he dumped the clothes on a table. He adjusted a few straps on the legs of his newly acquired outfit, grimacing. Anakin watched silently, doubt flickering around him again.

"Master…" Anakin's voice said it all.

"For the last time, Anakin, I am fine, I promise. All I need is about a day and a half of sleep."

To add to his point, no sooner had the Jedi spoken, when he lapsed into a jaw-popping yawn. 

"_Transport two one oh, cleared for takeoff in five,"_ an unseen loudspeaker said. _"Please report to the docking bay."_

"That's us," Anakin said, unneeded.

Obi-Wan gathered his clothes again, trying not to inhale through his nose.

* * *

The Jedi Temple was quiet as they entered, and they didn't disturb the comfortable silence with idle talk. Lessons were obviously in progress, meaning there were no other Masters to meet them. Taking advantage of this, Anakin escorted his Master to his quarters (of course, he didn't call it escorting).

Obi-Wan punched the code into his doorlock tiredly. He fought another yawn. His bed was so close. Would be so warm…

"_Access Denied."_

"Bugger," murmured Obi-Wan as he tried again.

"_Access Denied."_

"Oh, you bantha fu--" he snapped at the lock.

"Here," Anakin nudged his friend aside and punched in the code, knowing it as well as the code to his own room. 

"_Access Granted," _and the door slid open with a soft hiss.

"Thank you," Obi-Wan said gratefully. They both knew the 'thank you' was for more than just opening the door.

He stepped inside and tossed his clothes on the floor for the moment. 

"This _is_ eight times and you know it," Anakin said with a wink.

And he closed the door before Obi-Wan even managed to shout, "Seven!" 

Shaking his head, the Master ran a hand through his hair, smiling. He turned around to gaze at his bed longingly. He unzipped his jumpsuit to his chest while he walked over to it. Without pulling the covers back or kicking off his shoes, he let himself fall onto it. 

Almost immediately, he fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

_**Author's Notes 1:**_ Well then… There you have it. I suck at endings.

_**Author's Notes 2:**_ This is strictly because I went to 'search' and found nothing including Obi-wan and tentacles. Because, um, Obi-wan is a beast and I like tentacles. I was sitting there, thinking, _'It's Star Wars, for crying out loud. I'm sure they could find __something__, you know?' _So I did the logical thing and wrote my own. Hopefully it's decent, as I don't usually write smut, so please keep the flames to a minimum. (I don't want to be scarred and never branch out again) 


End file.
